Designed with you in mind

Sep. 21st, 2017 06:00 pm
ladyofastolat: (Default)
[personal profile] ladyofastolat
"Accomodation designed with YOU in mind," proclaimed the large banner hanging from a new development next in East Cowes. Another banner explained that these were "one and two bedroom apartments for over 50s with a nautical twist."

I am not over 50, and neither do I possess a nautical twist. (At least, I don't think I have a nautical twist. Is it a hairstyle? A way of knotting a tie? A type of pastry? A dance? Do interested over 50s have to show/perform their nautical twist before they're allowed to put their names down for an apartment? And what if they cut their hair / cast aside their tie / have their pastry accidentally eaten by the dog before the contracts are exchanged? What then?

So, twistless and too young, when I saw this banner that was directly addressed to a me who was not me, it made me mutter grumpily. "You lie!" I grumped, mutteringly.

But even if I were an over 50 in possession of a nautical twist (which might in fact be some sort of ID badge or pass or token which everyone receives on their 50th birthday, so might merely be a proof of age) I would not be interested in a one or two bedroom apartment in East Cowes. And even if I was interested, I would bet my bottom nautical twist that the designer had not, in fact, my face in mind when he first put pen to paper, or considered my personal preferences and quirks when deciding when drawing every line.

It is, of course, theoretically possible that the banner was made using some sufficiently advanced technology (sadly malfunctioning yesterday) that ensured that it could only be read by a passing "you" who is over 50, has a nautical twist, is interested in an apartment in East Cowes, and happens to share the design team's opinions on paint colour, bathroom suites and kitchen work spaces. (Such information has presumably been encoded (by Them) into our contactless bank cards.) Any other passing "you" sees only an advert for socks.

However, I doubt it. And so I am left with grumpy muttering. The only way to stop my muttering would be if the banner read something like, "accommodation designed with YOU in mind, as long as you're over 50, can demonstrate possession of a nautical twist, and what an apartment in East Cowes just like these, but, even then, we didn't literally design it with you in mind, just a generic "you" designed by the marketing team. We're calling her Freda."
naraht: (Default)
[personal profile] naraht
nothing gold can stay (2628 words) by Naraht
Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Yuri Plisetsky & Victor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisetsky & Yakov Feltsman, Lilia Baranovskaya/Yakov Feltsman
Characters: Yuri Plisetsky, Victor Nikiforov, Yakov Feltsman, Lilia Baranovskaya
Additional Tags: Rivals, Post-Canon, Growing Up, Coming of Age, growth spurt, Injury, 2018 Winter Olympics, Aging
Summary: Yuri Plisetsky will never step out of Victor's shadow. Not if Victor has anything to do with it.

Or, the epic Nikiforov/Plisetsky rivalry in the run-up to the 2018 Games.

Here it is, the long one. The first chapter of the long one, at least.

A friend tells me that 'rage-filled teenage boy athlete' is not my usual aesthetic – probably an understatement! But it's a refreshing change in writing terms, and it's good to stretch yourself... right?

"Drink Cup of Tea"

Sep. 17th, 2017 08:48 am
muninnhuginn: (Default)
[personal profile] muninnhuginn
Now, this --
Big pic... )-- is the game controller for me. Although, maybe, the tea button should be a larger one.

Yuletide nominations and stuff

Sep. 14th, 2017 08:54 pm
naraht: (other-Yuletide squee)
[personal profile] naraht
How can the Yuletide season be starting already? Usually I'm on top of these things but this year I was caught without even a potential nominations list.

So, in a fit of absence of mind, I have nominated:

Return to Night - Mary Renault
Hilary Mansell
Julian Fleming
Lisa Clare
Elaine Fleming

Figure Skating RPF
Evgeni Plushenko
Stéphane Lambiel
Johnny Weir
Evan Lysacek [not so attached to him, does anyone have someone they'd like me to nominate instead?]

Cycling Commentator RPF
David Millar
Ned Boulting
Carlton Kirby
Sean Kelly [ditto... does anyone want Gary Imlach or Matt Stephens or Brian Smith?]

I'll be in North Wales for work tomorrow (!) and staying into Saturday for a mini-break, so I thought it was best to get things tided away now, lest I forget.


the_marquis: HMS Minerva (F45) Atlantic '88 (Default)

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